D Clarity

What Is This Weird Balloon For

things actually said in a court of law

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Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
   No.
Did you check for blood pressure?
   No.
Did you check for breathing?
   No.
So, then it’s possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
   No.
How can you be so sure, Doctor?
   Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
   Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

Written by geek

23/10/2014 at 12:22 pm

Posted in funny

soil map of the united states

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-link

Written by geek

23/10/2014 at 10:31 am

Posted in art, food, maps

how to exit a parking garage with style

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-link

Written by geek

23/10/2014 at 10:04 am

detroit by night

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Written by geek

16/10/2014 at 11:27 am

Posted in art, sad

getting a nobel prize through the airport checkpoint

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They said, ‘What’s in the box?’
I said, ‘a large gold medal,’ as one does.
So they opened it up and they said, ‘What’s it made out of?’
I said, ‘gold.’
And they’re like, ‘Uhhhh. Who gave this to you?’
‘The King of Sweden.’
‘Why did he give this to you?’
‘Because I helped discover the expansion rate of the universe was accelerating.’

link

Written by geek

12/10/2014 at 8:52 pm

Posted in funny, science

rules for tipping

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Always tip people who touch something you are about to eat.

Written by geek

11/10/2014 at 1:01 am

Posted in food, math is hard

tyranny

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“We did not free ourselves from England’s cruel yoke to have static pie.”

-link

Written by geek

10/10/2014 at 1:29 am

Posted in politics, random links

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