Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Did you check for blood pressure?
Did you check for breathing?
So, then it’s possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.
They said, ‘What’s in the box?’
I said, ‘a large gold medal,’ as one does.
So they opened it up and they said, ‘What’s it made out of?’
I said, ‘gold.’
And they’re like, ‘Uhhhh. Who gave this to you?’
‘The King of Sweden.’
‘Why did he give this to you?’
‘Because I helped discover the expansion rate of the universe was accelerating.’